Times Square

Eating at Amarone. Walked up ninth ave. So many places. So alive. Picked a place with a pretty bartender. There was rose and fire. She brought wine and water.

The Queen Of Heaven

If there ever was a place for love it would be the home. The home is where love grows first and fastest. It is here that the foundation of love is created.

Let me introduce to you the Queen of Heaven:

Surprised By Joy

Can't even begin to think you enough for this. Those times spent with you will always be my treasures. You were the Ur-datum of so many complex feelings. You lugged me squealing into being.

Bus Fare for the Beautiful

I've been falling (or rising), periodically, into a new state of euporia. It's kind of like something I've felt before, but more intense and longer-lived. I feel the bekoning finger of divine love. Friday night it was very intense. I was leaving work. Walking down the hall the immediacy of the moment took on an intense power and I was launched into euphoric happiness. The feeling that I had was warm and fluid. The world seemed to be made of the flesh of God. The buildings were alive. I walked outside into the sun light and everything I've read about "all is one", "God is everything" was so very real and immediate. It was the like a new glimpse of the world the way it really is. I was giddy with excitement. It was as intense as any trip I've ever been on. I looked at people and they all just seemed so beautiful... so clearly divine, so magic. As I walked down the street and I saw a woman kneeling down on the sidewalk searching for something in her backpack. There was such a surreal beauty there. I felt a wave of love overtake me entirely. Just then she looked up at me and my smile was ten feet wide. And she jumps up and runs up to me and says, "You can help me." And then she proceeds to give me a long story about having a car towed, and needing 12 dollars to get a bus ticket to Fort Collins.

So I gave it to her. She called me an angel. She said I saved her. And it felt good. But then I started feeling like I had been taken advantage of and all of these petty, selfish thoughts brought me back to my old familiar peevish, unconscious state. But I'm not going to stay here. I have a date with God. We're going to dance!

The Seven Deadly Sins

Your Deadly Sins

• Lust: 100%
• Envy: 0%
• Gluttony: 0%
• Greed: 0%
• Pride: 0%
• Sloth: 0%
• Wrath: 0%
• Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%
  
  You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go
  

How Sinful Are You?

I guess I know what I need to work on!

Bang!

i can't tell you who it was... maybe it was her, maybe it was the scotch (older than my children). it could have been the herbs, the incense, the candles or the tobacco. it could have been the kind bud and it could have been the myriad errands of those little piggies. but really a concert is always a concert and it was a concert and each instrument plucked, strummed and tongued my mind. the water was (and still is) far more lovely than i'd ever realized. it glowed... like it was some pure energy all full of life. full of life and a form of life. and when i drank it i felt the effort it made to animate me, to make me conscious. each gulp was another spell book incantation that turns dust into awareness. then the dust went supernova. heat and death. stirred and shaken. all lovely. all delightful. the stars were never so beautiful.

mission accomplished! i work for angels now....

peace and love!

One Wish

What would you wish for? If you could wish for anything. Anything at all. A little while ago I was trying to imagine what it would be. I figured it would be something for Nick Or Melissa. But I really don't know. I do know what I would wish for. I loved somebody deeply. And loving her so deeply ended up hurting us both. I would wish that I had never hurt her. More than anything. Unless it would mean having never loved her.

What is more important? Is the love more important. I just didn't quite know what to do with the love. I caused pain. But the love did change us both. Love is still what counts.

From the first time I met her we had something in common. It was the way we first looked at each other. There was a feeling that surrounded that first glance into her eyes. We both knew it was there. It was all spelled out there, the first time I touched her hand, the first time I looked into her eyes. And it was very simple: I wanted to love her and she wanted me to love her. Never in my life have eyes reached out to me like hers did.

Its taken me a long time to find out who I am in this business. Its taken me a long time because I did not want to find what I had to find.

My sword still smokes with bloody execution and my hands all the seas incarnadine.

The time has come to let go of that. And Gillian helped me to understand that. Thank you Gillian. I, too, am a beautiful, wonderful child. And I have done nothing wrong.